Menu
(toggle)
JOKES
Jokes Index
New Jokes
Highest Rated Jokes
Adult Jokes 🔞
Airline Jokes
Animal Jokes
Baby Jokes
Bar & Drinking Jokes
Best Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Business Jokes
College Jokes
Computer Jokes
Cross the Road Jokes
Dad Jokes
Dentist Jokes
Doctor Jokes
Dumb Criminals
Elderly Jokes
Entertainment Jokes
Family Jokes
Farmer Jokes
Fart Jokes
Food Jokes
Golf Jokes
Holiday Jokes
Insult Jokes
Judge Jokes
Kid Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Lightbulb Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Love Jokes
Marriage Jokes
Military Jokes
Misc Jokes
Money Jokes
Musician Jokes
National Jokes
News Jokes
Office Jokes
One Liner Jokes
Pickup Jokes
Pilot Jokes
Pirate Jokes
Police Jokes
Political Jokes
Pop Culture Jokes
Programmer Jokes
Puns
Redneck Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Religious Jokes
Salespeople Jokes
School Jokes
Science Jokes
SciFI Jokes
Sport Jokes
Star Wars Jokes
Teacher Jokes
Technology Jokes
Word Play Jokes
Work Jokes
Yo Momma Jokes
SETS
Joke Sets
10 Funniest Jokes
66 Halloween Jokes
Ant Jokes
WATCH
Videos
Sounds
Pranks
READ
Jokes
Quotes
Riddles
Fartology
SHOP
Apps
Games
Toys
SIGN UP
SIGN IN
57 RELIGIOUS JOKES
Religious Jokes
Jan 21, 2020
Last updated:
Jul 24, 2023
Religious Jokes
Sort Rating
Is God Real
Joke:
A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Mikey to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked... "Mikey did you see the sky?" "Yes", said Mikey. "Did you see the sun?" "Yes", said the boy. "Did you see God?" "No", said the boy. The Teacher said, "So God really isn't there." A little girl started to ask Mikey some questions. "Did you see the sky?" "Yes" was the reply "Did you see the sun?" Again, "yes" was the answer. "Do you see the teacher's brain? Because according to her, she doesn't have one!"
VOTE
What Does The Rabbi Love Even More Than His Shekels
Joke:
What does the Rabbi love even more than his shekels?
Punch Line
VOTE
What does the Rabbi love even more than his shekels Joke Meme.
Moses Coffee
Joke:
How does Moses make his coffee?
Punch Line
VOTE
Fart In Church
Joke:
What Happens when you fart in church?
Punch Line
VOTE
Catholic Joke
Joke:
How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punch Line
VOTE
Catholic Joke Joke Meme
God Is Watching
Joke:
In the cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and she had placed it in front of the apples. The note read: "Take only one, God is watching." Further down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies... One of the boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies read: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
VOTE
Follow Me, I'm Right Behind You!
Joke:
A priest wanted to go to the post office, so he asked a little boy the way. The boy took him to the post office. The priest said to the boy, "Thank you. Come to the church tomorrow and I will show you the way to Heaven." The boy turned and said, "But you don't even know the way to the post office."
VOTE
What Do You Call A Book Club That’s Been Stuck On The Same Book For Years?
Joke:
What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the same book for years?
Punch Line
VOTE
What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the same book for years? Joke Meme
Don The Chicken.
Joke:
Don came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Don." Don was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Don was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Don the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never," said Don. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head and heard... "Don, wake up! You shit the bed!"
VOTE
Road To Heaven
Joke:
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' 'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up'.The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked. 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.' The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?' 'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..' 'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog. There should be a bowl by the pump.' They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked. This is Heaven,' he answered. 'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.' 'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?' 'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
VOTE
A Church Has A Rat Problem
Joke:
The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back. Next, they try to ask them politely to leave, but still, they won't budge. Finally, the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Punch Line
VOTE
What Would They Say...
Joke:
Three guys die in a car wreck and are sent to heaven. At the gates St. Peter asks the three men what they would want their families to say at the funeral. The first man says, "I want them to say I was an excellent husband and a great police officer." The second man says, "I want them to say I was a great husband, a wonderful teacher and that I made a huge difference in their lives." The third man says, "I wish they would say...LOOK! HE'S MOVING!"
VOTE
The Cab Driver
Joke:
A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has more crowns. He says to an angel, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation." The angel says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?" The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep." The angel says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed!"
VOTE
Holy Water Pun
Joke:
How do you make holy water?
Punch Line
VOTE
Holy Water Joke
Joke:
One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me, where is this man now?" "Flat on his butt over by the holy water!" the boy informed him.
VOTE
The Schizophrenic Buddhist
Joke:
What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?
Punch Line
VOTE
The Best Son
Joke:
Four Catholic women are sitting in a cafe sipping their tea, talking about their great sons. Soon it begins as a contest to see who has the best son. The first woman proudly declares, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room people call him 'Father." The second woman replies even more proudly, "My son is a bishop, when he walks into a room people call him 'My Grace." The third woman thinking she wins replies, "My son is a Cardinal! When he walks into a room people say, 'My Eminence." The fourth woman says nothing but sips her tea quietly. The three women stare at her and then ask her what is so special about her son. With a smug look on her face she replies, "My son is a 6' 5" muscular man, with a chiseled jaw and arms as big as pipes. And when he walks into a room all the woman say, 'Oh My God."
VOTE
A Bridge To Hawaii Joke
Joke:
A biker was riding his Harley along a California highway, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: Because you have tried to be faithful to me and always, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want. The Lord said your request is materialistic. Think of all the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind. The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, when she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, when she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. The Lord replied, “ do you want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”
VOTE
Email Warning
Joke:
If you ever receive an email titled "Ding Dong", do not open it. It's a Jehovahs Witness working from home.
VOTE
Say Grace
Joke:
Does your family say a prayer before you eat food? Nope, we're Italian, my mom knows how to cook.
VOTE
«
1
2
3
»
Joke Search
Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
8
Airline Jokes
282
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
Blonde Jokes
9
Business Jokes
7
College Jokes
13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
395
Dad Jokes
6
Dentist Jokes
56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
52
Elderly Jokes
15
Entertainment Jokes
21
Family Jokes
11
Farmer Jokes
121
Fart Jokes
133
Food Jokes
6
Golf Jokes
118
Holiday Jokes
24
Insult Jokes
4
Judge Jokes
171
Kid Jokes
10
Knock Knock Jokes
18
Lawyer Jokes
7
Lightbulb Jokes
4
Little Johnny Jokes
10
Love Jokes
80
Marriage Jokes
6
Military Jokes
117
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
Musician Jokes
42
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
Pilot Jokes
18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
46
Political Jokes
76
Pop Culture Jokes
5
Programmer Jokes
233
Puns
11
Redneck Jokes
79
Relationship Jokes
57
Religious Jokes
5
Salespeople Jokes
31
School Jokes
29
Science Jokes
4
SciFI Jokes
31
Sport Jokes
17
Star Wars Jokes
26
Teacher Jokes
23
Technology Jokes
441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
51
Yo Momma Jokes
Contributors
USERS
USER JOKES
ADD A JOKE
Follow @fartcom1
×
Newsletter
Get our Weekly Fart.com Jokes sent direct to your email inbox every week!
INCLUDES:
The last 7
Joke Of The Day's
,
Join our mailing list
Joke Categories